Embracing an old companion

When in despair, the distress call is made to the most faithful friend..
This explains my presence here after almost two years.A few years ago, I had a magic wand that could just make things the way I wanted them to be but I lost it midway.
Am I being  just  plain dramatic? Making a mountain out of a molehill..Just too adamant to accept the reality that you just have to play the assigned role in the story created by somebodyelse.Others pull the strings and your role is to act accordingly.You are forbidden to think,react, defy the ground rules.
There is a choice - take it or leave it.But its hard to choose the right option because its all mixed up in the mind.It is easy to leave but conditions apply.You cant open a shut door that easily if you lose the key.
Then, should I take it ?  It comes with its own set of conditions.You should abide by the rules of the game.
But what if the rules are wrong?
Then, there are only two options left.
 Either turn blind and dumb or search for the magic wand.
Planning to go for  latter.

Paint your life??

I was searching for something when I came across this picture and it just struck a chord with me.
Paint Your life!!!
It is so easy to speak these words.They just come out effortlessly.But is it that easy to follow? Can I splatter any colour of my wish on this canvas called life and paint it according to my whims and fancies? Can I afford to be that lavish to assume life as my own creation?
In a way, yes but the other way, no.
I dont feel life is that generous to us that we can change the picture with a stroke of paintbrush.I feel we are forbidden to do that.
The colours on the palette have been already assigned to me and the only task left is to paint using the allotted colours.Only these shades which have been given can be used on the canvas.Nothing else!!
But, yes, I can be imaginative in my escapade and let my creativity take control.It depends on me how I use this palette and paint the picture.I have the freedom to use the paintbrush to paint in bright, shiny shades or rather show a gloomy picture by doing it in all the dull shades.It all depends on my perspective of looking at things because i feel that you paint whatever you see.You see whatever your heart wants to show you.
The contrast, the brightness...All depends on me. The picture can be a riot of colours or it can be a dull lifeless thing.That decision is mine.Thats why, in a way, yes.
But my imagination hits the ceiling because my creativity is restricted by the palette.I dont have a wide range of hues to choose from.They have been already given to me and therefore, I cant be lavish in my creation.My freedom to choose the colours is restricted in a particular way.Therefore, the other way,No.
But still I feel that one can do wonders even with these constraints and come up with a masterpiece.Its only a matter of vision.
If I have to pick my colours for the canvas, then it has to be green and blue.Green for its serenity and blue for its vibrancy.And then, I will let the paintbrush speak!! :)
.

Small misadventures..

For the past 30 minutes, i am just sitting in front of my laptop trying to find the right words for this post.But nothing fits in!!!!
I just cant find the right words.A train of thoughts is running through my mind without screeching to a halt..
And interestingly, I dont have a wild adventure to tell.Life was pretty dull since past one month.Everything ended in a fiasco.
My internship ended abruptly coz our professsor was not well.We were stranded midway.
SOCIAL CHOICE THEORY
hehhe..I dont have a single idea what is it all about..
And, my entrance!! Did not clear this time too.So, my hols. just got wasted.
But there is a silver lining to the dark clouds..
Luckily, our professor will give us a certi. acknowledging the sincere efforts that we have put in this internship.
( Smiling) So, I guess I dont have anything to rant about.
And my second failed attempt..
Somehow, I am not sad about it.When i didnt see my name in the list of selected candidates, no depressing feeling of failure overpowered me.It has not battered my spirits and I am undeterred.I am still chasing my elusive victory.
Well..that was it for my hols.
I am leaving for Hyderabad this Sunday.But before leaving, i have set a little target for myself.
I have just started reading 'Midnight's children' and 'Twilight' by Stephen Meyers and i am kind of hooked to both.I am reading Salman Rushdie's work for the first time and have made a mental note that i will read his other works too..The book is actually nice. and 'Twilight' is also good.I have seen the movie and the book just gets better.You can on any day fall in love with that vampire.. ;)
So, i am liking both of them and my target is to read both of them before leaving which means by this sunday,i will try to finish reading them.
And yes, Rain Gods have finally shown mercy on dilliwallahs .Finally, its raining in the city putting an end to the dry spell.The city is no longer adorning that dreary, dusty look. :)
A good reason to be happy.
Thats all for now..
These were my misadventures ( if they come any closer to that...)


Hey, I forgot to tell one thing.I reached on time this time for the entrance.hehhe..I know you must be thinking whats the big deal in that.But , its a feat for me because my past track record is very bad.( Last time, I was late.I turned up at 10.30 am and entrance began at 10.00 am.) So, it is a big deal for me.. ; )

A welcome change..

Waking up to the sound of raindrops....
A perfect beginning of a new day ... :)
Everything adorned a fresh look this morning after the last night's rainfall .
Rains have washed away the morbid remains of a melancholic life and have painted it in a vibrant fresh colour wiping out all the signs of staleness.
The cool breeze no longer brings with it the muffled cries of lives trapped in the urban mizmaze.
A welcome respite.. : )
I love rains. Its a perfect break from the blazing summers.
I hope this change is here to stay for a while.

Bored...

Bored to death... : (
Life is soo boring these days. i hate vacations.
I cant find anything constructive to do and this Delhi weather is also not showing any mercy.Its sweltering hot here. :(
And i am still stuck.Cant find a way out..
Confusion and frustration is still ruling my mind.
But hope never dies..
Therefore, i am still clinging to the hope that i will work my way out. :)
(Fingers crossed)

Confusion again...

Why is it that the grass always seems to be greener on the other side?
Why do we see the ray of hope always on the other side?
Why do we have the illusion that if we will take that big step, things will change for better?
When the truth is that the grass on the other side has the same shade of colour.
There is no ray of hope on the other side.That hope lies in our hearts not somewhere else.
That big step always opens up a new can of worries and fears.
But still we all want to make the transition.
Why?
I am confused. i am also rowing the same boat.
Should I go to the other side? or Shouldnt I?
What if the things are not like the way as i had perceived them to be?Then what?
Start looking for other greener pastures.
??
( Smiling)
The confusion reigns again...

Taking an aimless flight...

Aimless, with no wishes and no dreams....
This is the most apt expression to describe myself at present.I am just moving with the winds, going in whichever direction these winds of uncertainty are taking me.I guess, this is the best thing you can do when you don't know what you want from your life.
Sometimes, its better to walk on a path that leads to nowhere coz you will reach somewhere in the end when the road ends.Its better than stopping halfway and waiting for somebody to give directions coz nobody will come and you will be stuck midway.
You have to find your directions on your own and when you cant, leave everything on destiny for some time.
I always feel that everybody in this world is on a treasure-hunt and this treasure shapes your dreams.It gives you a motive, a reason.At times, you might lose sight of this treasure and therefore, of your dream but you will be back on the right track after sometime.
Lately, i have also lost sight of my treasure.
I am waiting for this mist to vanish so that i can see it again. But till then, i am not halting anywhere.I am wandering, although aimlessly but still with the hope that i will be back on the trail. : )