I can hear that familiar, mechanical sound clearly.....tick tock tick tock...It echoes in my head in the dead of the night when i find myself in a state of ambivalence..It teases me.A constant reminder that i am running late..
Time is ticking away.I have this sudden impulse to smash the clock into pieces.Maybe that will freeze the time.Its too early to leave.
Just hold on for a little longer. Let the time come to a standstill for a while because there are some things that have been left unspoken , untouched .
Few questions that have been left unanswered.
Hold on till i find my answers..My reasons..
Let me walk those last few miles.
Let me wander in these alleys and passages a little longer because something is waiting to be discovered.....Waiting to be seen , to be felt..
Dont let it die an anonymous death.
Not days , hours or minutes..
Only a few moments more.Thats all I want.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
On a trail....
I was not expecting that i will be posting again so soon.I am a passive blogger.You can easily make out from the frequency of my posts. But nowdays,situation is a bit different. I have many reasons to be here.The first one that tops my list is that i am idle, killing time at home and during these times of complete vellapan, my mind is inundated with stupid thoughts . The best thing, in this case, is to dump all the brainy baggage here in this little space of mine.Waise did i say, i am idle,well...if i dont consider all those entrances that i am giving as a perfect reason to keep me preoccupied then yes, i am idle..
So lately, what i have been thinking ? umm.. nothing that special which will compel you to start pondering over, nothing like that but still it is something that forces me to sit up and give a second thought to the whole subject.
I was wondering how past few years of my life have passed by .Definitely,nothing extraordinary has been done that makes me worthy of a standing ovation..hehe...I am leading a normal life but if i think a little more,then i feel,i was always in the pursuit of something or the other, striving hard to prove my mettle and still, nothing has changed. I am still striving to prove myself and to everyone around me that i can be somebody. I do have some capabilities. So dont write me off as nobody.
Am i doing something different or thinking out of the box ? naah...Infact, everybody around me is doing the same.We all are trying to carve out a niche out there.
Sometimes, i feel that we all have been let loose in a big jungle where we all are on a trail, on a treasure hunt, always ready to take chances, putting everything at stake just to be one step closer to the treasure we are desperately seeking. All people are on this trail, treading on unseen paths , walking through unventured territories, experimenting with every new, unknown thing out there.
But there lies a difference. The meaning and the form of treasure is different for everyone.For some, it is in a tangible form and for some, it is intangible.All of us have different definitions to define it and have different visions of it.Noone knows what is that actual thing that we are truly seeking but we all are on this trail. Noone knows where this adventure will end ,what will be the final fruit that our efforts will bear but still we are undeterred and we prefer to walk on , just in the hope that at the end of the day, we will be somewhere and we will be suitably rewarded for setting out on this adventure...i guess, this is the indomitable spirit of human life.Just move on, dont think about the outcome whether it will be bad or good, simply follow your heart because evrything will be good in the end and if its not, then its not the end.
So lately, what i have been thinking ? umm.. nothing that special which will compel you to start pondering over, nothing like that but still it is something that forces me to sit up and give a second thought to the whole subject.
I was wondering how past few years of my life have passed by .Definitely,nothing extraordinary has been done that makes me worthy of a standing ovation..hehe...I am leading a normal life but if i think a little more,then i feel,i was always in the pursuit of something or the other, striving hard to prove my mettle and still, nothing has changed. I am still striving to prove myself and to everyone around me that i can be somebody. I do have some capabilities. So dont write me off as nobody.
Am i doing something different or thinking out of the box ? naah...Infact, everybody around me is doing the same.We all are trying to carve out a niche out there.
Sometimes, i feel that we all have been let loose in a big jungle where we all are on a trail, on a treasure hunt, always ready to take chances, putting everything at stake just to be one step closer to the treasure we are desperately seeking. All people are on this trail, treading on unseen paths , walking through unventured territories, experimenting with every new, unknown thing out there.
But there lies a difference. The meaning and the form of treasure is different for everyone.For some, it is in a tangible form and for some, it is intangible.All of us have different definitions to define it and have different visions of it.Noone knows what is that actual thing that we are truly seeking but we all are on this trail. Noone knows where this adventure will end ,what will be the final fruit that our efforts will bear but still we are undeterred and we prefer to walk on , just in the hope that at the end of the day, we will be somewhere and we will be suitably rewarded for setting out on this adventure...i guess, this is the indomitable spirit of human life.Just move on, dont think about the outcome whether it will be bad or good, simply follow your heart because evrything will be good in the end and if its not, then its not the end.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
A treasure of memories...
Life is a big collection of memories, bitter and sweet memories of your golden past.These memories are , infact, the real wealth that you earn throughout your life ..
Now i realise that this is what i can call of my own in the true sense of the word. This is what i have earned in my twenty years of life.They sum up my whole life, a life that i have lived till now.....
These memories are my companions .One thing that will always be with me ,that will make me laugh , will bring tears of joy even during the darkest times when someday the whole world is up in arms against me and i dont have any reason to smile; when life is no longer a sweet song that can be sung, then this sovuneir of my colourful past will be my reason to smile,my reason to sing ; to dance to the tune of life.
Every moment that we live is special but we do not realise this at that time.We dont even appreciate it but when these moments become our past , then suddenly things change. We become desperate to go back to that time, and will do anything to be a part of that phase of life again , just for one last time .. its that same phase that we once loathed about and had written it off as the worst phase of life and had earnestly wished that it ends soon...
And today, we plead to get those days backbut no, it is gone and will never be back again..The only remains of it are those indelible imprints that are safely etched in our memories..Nothing else..
Sometimes, a sudden fear grips me..What if i dont have any memories of the past? If i forget all about my past life?...What will i do..What will i reminisce about...There will be nothing left...it would feel like being stripped to my skin.This is one of my deepest fears, that one morning i will wake up with no memories.I wont remember anything .Then, what?....there is a big blank ..ohh..it is scary..
Maybe its one awry thought that comes to the mind when life looks like a cakewalk and you are getting more than you had ever wished for, then some deep rooted fears grow that some untoward thing will hamper the smooth pace of your life...Just a figment of imagination..Nomatter what it is, but this fear is enough to give nightmares atleast to me.
My memories are my treasure which noone in this world can ever steal from me...yea..noone can.
Now i realise that this is what i can call of my own in the true sense of the word. This is what i have earned in my twenty years of life.They sum up my whole life, a life that i have lived till now.....
These memories are my companions .One thing that will always be with me ,that will make me laugh , will bring tears of joy even during the darkest times when someday the whole world is up in arms against me and i dont have any reason to smile; when life is no longer a sweet song that can be sung, then this sovuneir of my colourful past will be my reason to smile,my reason to sing ; to dance to the tune of life.
Every moment that we live is special but we do not realise this at that time.We dont even appreciate it but when these moments become our past , then suddenly things change. We become desperate to go back to that time, and will do anything to be a part of that phase of life again , just for one last time .. its that same phase that we once loathed about and had written it off as the worst phase of life and had earnestly wished that it ends soon...
And today, we plead to get those days backbut no, it is gone and will never be back again..The only remains of it are those indelible imprints that are safely etched in our memories..Nothing else..
Sometimes, a sudden fear grips me..What if i dont have any memories of the past? If i forget all about my past life?...What will i do..What will i reminisce about...There will be nothing left...it would feel like being stripped to my skin.This is one of my deepest fears, that one morning i will wake up with no memories.I wont remember anything .Then, what?....there is a big blank ..ohh..it is scary..
Maybe its one awry thought that comes to the mind when life looks like a cakewalk and you are getting more than you had ever wished for, then some deep rooted fears grow that some untoward thing will hamper the smooth pace of your life...Just a figment of imagination..Nomatter what it is, but this fear is enough to give nightmares atleast to me.
My memories are my treasure which noone in this world can ever steal from me...yea..noone can.
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